How to Write Internal Monologue

by C. Patrick Schulze

Listen to a PODCAST of this article.

Internal monologue, a CHARACTER’s thoughts, is a tool by which you can improve your writing to a dramatic degree. Once you learn how to write internal monologue, you can infuse your novels with added dimensions of intrigue and emotion.

Despite its difference from spoken dialogue, internal monologue should conform to the basic tenants found within the craft of writing. By this I mean you should still show instead of tell, maintain the character’s voice, stay in Point of View and all the rest. You mustn’t think a character’s thoughts changes any of the basic “rules” within the craft of writing.

As I alluded to above, internal monologue is all about the character and his voice. Is your character the type of person who would express his thoughts in the way you indicate? And if so, do his thoughts fit his personality? Does he think the same way he would speak? Ensure his monologues match who he is.

Things you do NOT do with internal monologue:

1. Present the information before its time. When the reader needs to know it, then present it.
2. Employ thoughts as a substitute for conflict. Conflict and dialogue drive your story, not thoughts.

Things you DO with internal monologue:

1. Incorporate your monologues between your CONFLICT. When the ship is about to sink is the time for your character to think about the home. Home has more significance if it’s wrapped around the conflict.
2. Pick your opportunities to utilize internal monologues with care. Your character should be in a situation that drives high emotions.
3. Choose those times to insert the monologue for when they’ll have the most affect.
4. Make sure your reader understands the character is done thinking. Nothing slows a novel like a readers who wonders, “Huh? What did I miss?”
5. Include details that touch the reader’s senses. After all, you want your reader to feel what is going on, right?

The classic opportunities to incorporate internal dialogue into your writing is when your character comes to a momentous decision, makes a startling discovery, sees a new opportunity or tries to hide his emotions.

How might you punctuate internal monologue?

If you use a word or phrase to replace the word, “said,” to show your character is thinking, you format like regular dialogue. Or you can simply italicize his thoughts. Both of the following examples are correct.

“But, I assumed I was right,” he thought.
But I assumed I was right, he thought.

The secret to internal DIALOGUE? The best examples intrigue your reader. They make your reader feel compelled to read on and learn more.

Anyone care to share any tips they’ve learned about internal dialogue? I’d love to hear them.

Until we speak again, know I wish for you only best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze
Author of the emerging novel, “Born to be Brothers.”